from me to you.
Shelby
I wont 2 brake up
with u. We can b friends
I Just think that
we should be friend
our relanstionship has
lasted long enough I
wan't to move on
I found someone else
and someone better.
so find you someone
else and someone
Better I don't wan't
you no more so
we can go on with
your life and I go
on with mine.
please don't cry.
(circa 2005)
Long term goals:
- Become more active. I'm fairly decent weight wise but I'm out of shape. I want to tone up, exercise daily, and increase my stamina.
- Eat more healthy. I don't eat meat, but I still do eat a lot of junk. I plan to switch to almond milk, more whole grains, and less fried foods.
- Become more organized and unclutter my life. I have too much stuff that needs to go.
- Become financially responsible. I need to learn how to manage and save money properly.
- Learn more about politics.
- Learn French.
- Go on a mission trip.
je vous pardonne.
cette chanson lui est dédié
I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
It's obvious that in my heart I haven't forgiven him, me, us. It still hurts, but I'm healing. God is working on me. Slowly but surely.
Update: Old love and new love.
- As you all know, my nephew was born 2 months ago. He is absolutely the number 1 man in my life. I love him beyond belief and I'm just the aunt. I can't imagine having my own children and loving them as much as I love Aaron. Of course, they'll be my own children, but the love I have for Aaron is incredible.
- Jesus actually has my whole heart right now. I haven't been on top of my game as I would have liked to be this summer, but He's still all I think about. He taught me, and is still teaching me how to love. Sometimes it hits me hard that He actually died a brutal and humiliating death for me. He is the epitome of love and I'm striving to become more like Him each day.
- There's a new guy in my life. We've been talking on and off for about 8 months, but actually became a "thing" about a month ago. We're not together, I don't want to be with him, but we're certainly not just friends. I don't know where this is going to go. I like him, but I don't want to. I just want to wait on the Lord. I don't want to make anything happen that's not supposed to. I really don't see myself with anyone for a few years now, but we'll see.
- I'm still in love with my ex, and yes, every now and then I would cry about it. I never thought he meant so much to me. It's strange being with someone for a whole year and spending every holiday together, and all of a sudden every holiday after is just a reminder. I guess that's why I haven't gotten over him. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter, and my birthday were all reminders of him, because he was who I spent the previous holidays with. The fact that he told me happy birthday actually meant the world to me. Now I'm going to terms that it's really over, and we'll never be together again.
What kind of guy should I be looking for?
One of the most common – and most beautiful – attributes amongst Christian ladies is a desire to nurture. A desire to comfort, and encourage, and serve.
In the right context, this is an amazing, Godly aim. In the wrong context, it will really mess you up.
What tends to happen for a lot of Christian gals is that they see a guy who is – and this is a theological phrase – a wounded puppy. He’s sad and discouraged and probably wants something spiritual in his life but isn’t sure how that would work for him and aw shucks and who’s-to-say. And, for these Christian gals, that desire to nurture kicks in. Problem is, it quickly transitions to a desire to date said wounded puppy. And this will not work.
There’s a line from an old poem that says, “None but the brave deserve the fair.” Ladies, I want you to emblazon this on your subconscious minds. None but the brave deserve the fair.
Why do I say this? Because a Christian woman deserves to be with a Godlyman. Not a boy, not a teenager, not an adolescent. A man.
And, make no mistake, being a man isn’t about chronological age. It’s about personal and spiritual maturity. Here are some benchmarks to consider:
- A man is not looking for and does not need you to fix him. He’s already working things out with the Lord – just the two of them.
- A man knows where he stands spiritually.
- A man is confident in who he is and what he brings to the table.
- A man has the humility to know what his weaknesses, limitations, and growing-edges are, and is addressing them.
- A man knows where he’s going in life – following the Lord – and isn’t willing to get off course for you or anyone else.
So, then, what does that look like lived out?
- A man will meet you and spend some time getting to know you. He will pray for you and about you, and seek counsel from people farther along in the Lord than himself. He will not rush into anything. When he has a firm word from the Lord that this is a relationship from the Lord – and not before – he will move forward.
- He will summon the courage to ask you out on a date. He will not hem and haw, he will not say, “hey, maybe we should hang out, you know, sometime.” He will say, “I’d like to take you out for dinner. On a date. What do you say?”
- He will tell you how he feels about you. And I’m not talking, “So, you seem cool, and, yeah, it’s cool to hang out.” I’m talking, “You need to know that I’m crazy about you. I admire the heart you have for the Lord and the lost. I respect your walk. I value your authenticity. And I think you’re hot as all get out. If that doesn’t work for you, I understand, but you should know where I’m coming from.”
- A man will insist that both of you go to the Lord and ask for wisdom on what the Lord wants the physical boundaries to be for this relationship.
- A man will then insist that those boundaries are followed whether you like it or not. And if you start to get out of pocket, he will say, “Darling, don’t try and start something I won’t let you finish.” And he will mean it.
Everything I’ve just described requires courage. It requires bravery. It takes a man to pull it off.
And if there’s a dude out there that can’t man up, then he doesn’t deserve you. God does not want you to settle, and trust me, you don’t need to.
Remember, sisters: None but the brave deserve the fair.
Credit: Jed Brewer tumblr
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