thatgirlshel: December 2010

My New Years Eve plans.

deep condition my hair...two times.
blog some more.
sip on some peach orchard punch.
and attempt to clean my room.

Yep, yall should be jealous. ^_^

But if you're going out tonight please be safe.
   If you're going to drink, have a designated driver.
   If you're going to have sex, use protection, or not who am I?
   If you're going to smoke, um...know what you're smoking.
Sounds like good advice to me. Enjoy!

Out with the old, In with the new.

I would like to say that this is my New Years Resolution post, but in actually these are things that I've been working on for a few months. It just seems appropriate to post them seeing as how today is the last day of 2010. Today is the last day of 2010! I have gone through a lot this year, so let's recap shall we.

I graduated from high school.
Did the Big Chop and became 100% natural.
I became legal.
My best friend and I divorced each other, but we're on better terms.
I stopped eating meat completely and became a pescatarian.
My mama and I had the biggest fallout we've ever had. It was el terrible.
I got my tragus pierced.
I dealt with the worst break up of my life thus far. (I say that like I'm old. lol.)
I went off to college and made some wonderful friends.
I've learned to forgive Jalen. loljk. I lied. -___-
I think that's all for the big things...I don't know. *shrug*

All in all, 2010 was not that bad of a year for me.

Now that that's out of the way, it's time for my "resolutions".

The things mentioned in my Lovely Advice post.
I'm going to attempt to teach myself French. I've always wanted to learn.
Shop only at Goodwill and thrift shops. Except for shoes.
I need to learn how to save money. Note previous bullet. lol.
Learn how to be single. Just that. Not talking to anyone. Just be single girll! Can't be that hard.
Spend more time caring for my hair and if I dye it, only once more. *sigh*
Work on my relationship with God. A real relationship.
When I shop, know what I want in advance. I can't just be going into stores all willy nilly. See bullets 3 and 4.
Learn how to drive! Duhh. That should have been number one.
Stay alive.
Stay happy.
Stay free.

Ok, I think I'm done. This was supposed to be a serious post. You know, reflecting on the past, the lessons I've learned, and what I'll do differently, but who am I kidding. Nothing ever really changes but the digits of the year and your age.

Always.

In my case I've been waking up at 2 or 3 in the afternoon. This madness has got to stop! I'm literally wasting my day away, especially since I work at 6 most days. I just can't do this anymore. I'm going to start being more productive; reading a book, cleaning my room, writing, drawing. Something other than sleeping my life away, because that's exactly what I'm doing; Sleeping my life away. It's quite sad if you ask me. It's as if I have nothing to wake up to or life for, but I have plenty. *sigh*

Things I have never felt like:

a plastic bag.
a G6.
P. Diddy.

meet that girl shel.

Name: shelby. :)
Age: 18.
Where You’re From: nashville.
Sexuality: i am who i am.
Single/Taken: so single, it's sad.
Favourite Color: yellow, tiffany blue, godiva brown.
Favourite Type Of Music: acoustic, hip hop/not rap, soul/blues, alternative, indie rock, r&b. um...i like everything.
Favourite Band: outkast, the beatles if they even count. a few others.
One Thing You Want To Do Before You Die: "leave the ridges of my thumbprint in convolutions of someones brain..."

I am not the person everyone thinks I am.

I would love to know more about my followers. Share with me. :)

“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” -Frank Sinatra

In all honesty, I feel sorry for the people who need an escape in life to feel better throughout the day than they did waking up. I mean think about. If you need booze to make your day better, then you’re probably not living much of a life. If your life was great, you wouldn’t need to feel any better. But who am I to say that everyone is happy with their lives? Who am I to say that someone doesn’t need that pick-me-up in a cup? Who am I to feel sorry for these people?

Yet, why does he feel the need to feel sorry for the happy life that I live?

How to love a woman.

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

—	Bob Marley

After periods of growth,

there are periods of reflection.

I'll hip you to the Tee that is.

R.I.P. Lady Tee.

"Baby, what's happening
Entre vous Lady Tee
I've heard a boatload of others ladies' raps
But they ain't got nothin' on me
I'm less than five foot one, a hundred pounds of fun
I like sophisticated funk
I live on Dom Perignon, caviar, filet mignon
And you can best believe that's bunk
Here's what I'm talking, baby
Square Biz, Square Biz"

I was just listening to this two days ago, and now she's gone. Funny how life works, except, not really... Her rhyme in this song is forever a classic; ask Missy Elliot in Ciara's 1,2, Step. She know what's up. I may only be 18, but you have no idea who raised me.

Perspective and Punctuation.

What language does a deaf person think in?

"The answer to this is actually really interesting. Assuming they were born deaf and learned sign language, deaf people actually think in sign. It’s gestures instead of sounds and their inner “voice” is entirely visual instead of audible. Oliver Sacks write about it in his book, “Seeing Voices: A Journey into the World of Deaf.”

Sacks writes of a visit to the island of Martha’s Vineyard, where hereditary deafness was endemic for more than 250 years and a community of signers, most of whom hear normally, still flourishes. He met a woman in her 90s who would sometimes slip into a reverie, her hands moving constantly. According to her daughter, she was thinking in Sign. “Even in sleep, I was further informed, the old lady might sketch fragmentary signs on the counterpane,” Sacks writes. “She was dreaming in Sign.”" -saturday-night-hemorrhagic-fever.

Definitely on my list to read.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting: but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

This kidd. :)

CamHandsome

Don Draper

Times change.

Last Christmas.

This Christmas.

Family shots coming soon. :)

I loved both all the same, but something was missing.

Merry Christmas.

Confessions.

The only reason I get on facebook is to stalk people.
I dance like a stripper on a regular basis.
I'm thinking about dropping out of college.
I never have matching socks.
I'm still very bitter about a particular situation.
My imagination is too much at times.
I spend too much time alone.
Feels like I've been single for a lifetime.
I snore.
I hate my glasses, but I just can't get rid of them.

@thatgirlshel

Yall should follow me on twitter. :)

nostalgia.

Atychiphobia.

When people express to me that they love, or simply just like me, I get scared and nervous. Because at the very moment that I realize I'm important to someone, I realize that I can never let them down. I cannot disappoint them. I cannot upset them. I cannot make them feel as if I'd ever hurt them, but the reality is I probably will.

After all, the ones closest to you are the ones that can hurt you the hardest.

@thatgirlshel i wanna touch your curly fro for christmas12 minutes ago via web in reply to thatgirlshel

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CamHandsome

Don Draper

Grinch.

Christmas doesn't feel like Christmas this year. Three days until Christmas and there is no joy in the atmosphere that I usually feel every year single year. A few have told me that it's because I'm getting older. That can't possibly be the reason. I suspect that the only reason they're saying that is because I'm assuming that when you get older, there isn't really much you want or ask for for Christmas. Well I'm different. I have never asked for anything, and I don't expect anything. I take Christmas for what it is, not the gift giving and receiving nonsense that it has become.

I'm not sure what's going on, but I don't like it one bit. Maybe I should go around looking at the Christmas lights and listen to the joyous melodies of carols.

Hmm...I guess I'll sip some Christmas in a cup. That'll make me feel better.

tonight.

still up.

5:20 am.

changes,

I'm not sure how I feel about the changes to my blog.
But something had to change.
And it will continue to change until I'm satisfied.

Why is it 3:43 am?? :/
Goodmorning.

Restless.

I've been fairly sick so I've been getting a lot of sleep, and it doesn't help that it has conflicted with my sleep schedule, which was already out of control, therefore causing me to be up at 2:30am.

I'm not sure if that made any sense at all, or if the sentence, which I'm sure is a run-on, is constructed correctly.

Okay, now read the last sentence again, and apply it to that same sentence also.

I have successfully completed my first semester in college with a 3.2 GPA. I am extremely proud of myself, although I know I could have done better. College isn't at all what I thought it would be, then again it was so much more. There are some windy, or rainy, or snowy days where I'd just sit in the coffee shop with a vanilla chai tea latte and just read, or listen to the live music, or sit and think until the very last drop of tea was gone. If you've never had a vanilla chai tea latte, I suggest you get on that asap. They seriously taste like Christmas. Christmas in a cup. Yep.

Oh, you would like to know about my love life? Hmm...the one that's nonexistent? I would like to know about it too. I guess you could say I'm "talking" to someone, but it isn't serious. At this point I don't even care. I'm happy being alone, I can find out a lot more about myself that way. I've discovered that it's probably not a good idea for Jalen and I to ever get back together like I had in mind. I'm definitely not the type of woman he would like to be with, especially since all of the things he don't like and had made clear, I'm slowly turning into that girl. I really don't know how to explain it, but yeah. But it seems to me he's slightly becoming someone I'm more attracted to. Blah Blah Blah.

I'm going to go ahead and loc my hair. I had planned on four years, after I graduate from college, but I just can't wait that long. So two years it is. I never wanted to loc my hair when I went natural, but I think it'll be a great decision to make.

I have no money, but I start back at my job at the movies today. I'm very excited and very unenthusiastic at the same time. The moneyy is callin' sista gurrls name!

I am obsessed with Zoe Kravitz. Love that girl. She is the bohemian byproduct child of hippie lovers.

All of these paragraphs start in "I" "I" "I". Geez Shelby.

I love everyone. Goodnight.

3:00 am.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

—	Ralph Waldo Emerson

People use the word "rape" too lightly.

“That test just raped me!” or vice versa, “I just raped that test!”
“I could just rape his fine ass!”
“The Bengals raped the Seahawks last night.”

That word should not be used causally and as slang as it has been in the past few years. Words cannot fathom how furious I am every time I hear someone use it casually. I don’t understand, I just…I can’t even.

"Every woman is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself.”

- Oscar Wilde

Christmas Sweater.

99 cents at Goodwill.
Getting more. :)

College Advice.

Yesterday I completed my first semester of college. There are some things I wish I could do differently, but for the most part I really enjoyed myself.

DO NOT PROCRASTINATE. I cannot stress this enough. If an assignment is due in 2 or 3 weeks do not start on it the day before it's due. You don't have to complete the whole assignment the day it was assigned but it would be wise to at least get a little head start.
Do not miss class.
I know there is so much to eat and eat and eat and eat, and before you know it that Freshman 15 will be knocking at your love handles and thunder thighs. Don't let it happen...unless you want it to.
Manage your time wisely. I know there are going to be parties and social events, but make sure you still have time to get a little school work done. This goes back to procrastination.
Protect your rep. There going to be a lot of cute guys (and girls), but don't go crazy.
Make friends. There are a lot of social events and activities on campus. Take advantage of it and go make new friends. College is too much fun to be sitting in your dorm room lonely because you don't know anyone.
Learn more about who you are. I have learned a butt load about who I am and what I would like to do with my life. College is the perfect place to just be yourself. There are so many weirdos, you'll fit in amongst anyone. :)
I know I just said you'll stand out amongst anyone, but STAND OUT! Create an identity. I'm seriously the-girl-with-the-two-toned-fro-and-glasses-who-dresses-weird-and-funky, and I'm completely okay with that. :D
Remember that you're paying for this education, don't waste your money.
Get involved with anything. Go to sporting events, or play the sport. Join a greek organization. Run for Homecoming court. Get involved with SGA. Or start your own club.
Don't go into debt because you're broke and got a credit card. It will haunt you for the rest of your life.
Be safe; this means sex, walking to your room alone at night, and going to parties. Be smart.

Pick-me-up

It's seriously the people like this that help me get through the day. I've been so stressed lately about what I'm going to do with school, and for the rest of my life a matter of fact, and to hear those kind words mean soooo much to me. Someone cares. Someone really cares in this cold cold world. The moment I read the second comment from Eric I started crying. Tears of pure joy. We go to school together, but we've never said a word to one another in person. Words coming from a complete stranger. The other two ladies are family, who I know love my with all of their hearts. I can often times forget that there will always be someone behind me...always.

Money doesn't grow on trees.

Money actually isn't made out of paper.

It's 25% linen and 75% cotton.

alfalfa.

i'm afraid that if i don't

some find a way to

c o m p l e t e l y

d i s a p p e a r

i will lose my mind.

All of my knights in shining armor,

turns out to be losers in tinfoil.

Your lucky day.

You have got to watch this short film.

This isn't a waste of 16 minutes. I promise.

As messed up as this may seem, I'm completely okay with the greed, luck, racism, and love this carries. I can accept everything that happened in this short film, because it can happen. Not in a twisted way such as this one, but life surely is unpredictable. I have come to terms that life doesn't always go according to our plans. There is a lot going on in my head with the film that I honestly can't control my thoughts. But I'd love to hear from you. :)

This is absolutely one of my favorite short films.

"It's not fate; it's probability. Someone at some point has to win."

What happened to my blog?

It's seriously a mess.

But then again, so is my life.

*shrug*