words are floating around my head.

but I can't seem to get them out.
Words are floating around in my heart,
can't seem to get those words out either.

For the past few weeks I've been wanting to write.
Write anything and everything, but I can't.


I honestly can't.


It breaks my heart.
Hmm.....maybe the words would leak out then.
Very seldom does art come from happiness.

note to self:

Do not miss out on any opportunities because you’re shy. 




If you like him, let him know. 
If you want to travel, do it.

true story.

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be AWESOME instead.

like a tic tac.

Your problems are like Tic Tacs.

There are many times when we are stressed, angry, or even depressed about something that is going on in our lives. There are times where we have low points; We feel as though we have hit rock bottom and there is nothing that can pick us up again. Think of your problems as Tic Tacs. If you focus on a Tic Tac and bring it up to your eye. It's so big it's all you see, but once you take that Tic Tac away and not focus on it, it becomes so small and irrelevant. If you let go and let God intervene those problems are so small. You don't have to focus on your problems all by yourself.

Give your burdens to the Lord. 

• Psalm 34:4 I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.
• Psalm 86:7 In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me.
• Psalm 50:15 And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.
• Psalm 18:3 I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies

I'm done.

I can't deal with the selfishness, immaturity, and ignorance anymore.

my future home will look something like this.

current obsession: wiz fro.

I'm not entirely a fan of Wizard Calligraphy, but I adore his nappy untamed hair to pieces! I feel as though the look works for him because dresses nice, whereas if he wore raggedy clothes he would look like a bum. You know what I'm saying? Anywho, I love love love love love love the Wiz fro on guys. ♥

Fact: #11

I wear gold and silver jewelery together, as well as black and brown.
Fashion Faux pas? Shut up.

good love.

Je veux savoir que le bon amour se sent comme. 

never take life for granted.

This morning at 7a.m. I got up to wash the dishes; a little earlier than I expected, but my mama came home making demands. Anywho, everything was fine up until the last few dishes. I started to get dizzy, and my chest had pressure. I stopped doing everything. My first thought was the I needed to eat, so I was trying to figure out a way to reach the fridge and get to the chopped up cantaloupe on the middle shelf. (By this time I noticed that my mama was no longer making noise, so I knew she knew something was wrong, but my back was to her this whole time.) After a few seconds the pain had gotten worst. I turned around and said, "I don't feel good." My mama's first thought was "Not in the house." and she opened the front door as if I had to throw up. I immediately said "Not that kind of feel good." but continued to stick my head out of the door. Maybe I needed fresh air. At this point the pressure had reached it's peak and I couldn't breathe. Tears were going down my eyes. They kept coming. My mama got me a chair and I sat down for a few minutes while it calmed down. I got up to finish the dishes with tears still going down my face.

I was terrified, scared, and confused. To be honest, that was not the worst pain that I have ever felt. But from the other pains, I knew the causes and that whatever it was causing the pain could not cause me to die. This pain was random and I have no idea what could have caused it. It might have been my time to go. *shrug*

Either way it goes, whether it was life threatening or not, no one should ever take their life, or the life of others, for granted. You never know what may happen in life. Not everything in life you can prepare for, there's always that element of surprise. Love and respect those around you. Don't feel down all the time. Do something you truly love. Find a hobby. Laugh, laugh again, and laugh harder! There is so much one can offer to the world or to their neighbor. What I'm saying is, make sure when you leave this earth you leave happy and with no regrets.

*By the way, my friend said I might have had a panic attack, something's missing from my diet that my body needs (I don't eat meat), or I need more rest (I had only 3 hours of sleep before waking up). 

conversations with shelby: #1

Him: You're a diamond in the rough.
Me: Noo. I'm just a pebble in a creek.

naked.

“It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked."

peek a boo.

Epiphany.

I had a sudden thought to runaway.

I just need to get away from everyone, and my mind.

I typed "I will runaway." in the translator.

"Je me sauverai." is what it gave me.

"Je me sauverai." translates to "I will save myself."

In order to save myself, from myself, I will runaway.

It won't be soon, possibly months from now.

It may even take years.

And I don't know where I'm going.

But it doesn't matter.

I will be saving myself.

ces valentin ce jour

On Valentines Day I'm going to mail and pass out cards to random people in hopes that I brighten their day.

My last two Valentines Day’s were not up to par on my standards of how that day was supposed to go. The funny part about that is, I was in a relationship on both days. No one should feel alone on a day that’s supposed to about love, and that’s exactly how I felt. It never bothered me when I was single, but to be in a relationship and feel alone…it hurts.

This year I am going to be single on Valentines Day, but that’s okay. That means no expectations.

Instead of dwelling on what could be and the past, I’m going to make sure no one feels alone or unloved. I don’t care if they’re single, married, male, female, 10 years old, 56 years old, Black, White, or Asian. I’m going to buy Valentines Day cards and use the phone book to choose random people. I’m going to pass them out on my campus. I’m going to try to put a smile on someone’s face. Everyone deserves it.

I am beautiful.

There are some things I have to constantly remind myself, and knowing that I am beautiful is one of those things. I wish I could always look beautiful and feel beautiful. A friend of mine always calls me a diva based on my Facebook pictures. In reality, it takes awhile for me to to choose my profile picture so that I may look my very best. The only reason for that is because of my lack of confidence. He doesn't understand. No one does and no one will.

Maybe I should post not so beautiful pictures so that I'll look better in person, yeah? I'm just kidding.

A common misconception: Inverted cross

People, primarily death metal artists and anti-religion groups, often associate the upside down cross with satan, the antichrist, or atheism. The inverted cross is actually the Cross of St. Peter, an inverted Latin cross. Peter, the first pope, choose this form of crucifixion because he felt he was unworthy to die in the same manner as Christ. Some Catholics use this cross as a symbol of humility and unworthiness in comparison to Christ.

In reality, the cross is a symbol of humility, and not devil worshiping.

I mean, if it didn't know any better either I would assume it was satanic also. It could represent the opposite of Christianity by inverting its primary symbol, but it doesn't. Interestingly enough, Jesus did referred to Peter as "Satan", when he said to him "Get behind me, Satan!", in Mark 8:33. However, an inverted crucifix (a cross with a depiction of the crucified body of Christ on it) is seen as extremely disrespectful, and could be used to represent Satanic forces. The difference of the two can sometimes be unclear, which can cause confusion abut which is acceptable.

XI's for $15.

I went to goodwill today. I only picked up 3 items, but you'll never believe what i spotted:

Jordan Oreo XI's for $15. Yes. $15.
I would have gotten them except they were a size 4.5 youth.
I know I could have bought them and given them away as a gift, but I don't know anyone with feet that little. Or I could have bought them for $15 and sold them on Ebay for $50 or something. Wow. I should have done that. I wasn't thinking. Anywho, yeah, they're legit.

And I just so happened to be wearing my Oreo XI's. Life's funny. :)

Oh, and my sister copped a Polo for about $5. I found one too, but it was blahhh. I'll find more soon. :)

Happy New Year.

Make it a good one. :)