"Seek Me and delight completely in Me."
Thank You Abba Father.
It truly amazes me how the words of man can pierce the souls of men.
No, I don't mean in the profound and transforming way the Lord does...
I mean in the "spit in your face, leave you in the cold, kicks dirt upon you" way.
The way a father can leave his child in the arms of the mother never to be seen again, the way your first love slips away from you as the moon reaches the zenith of the dark sky... As cruel as school children...
My aunt once told me "If someone has the ability to change who you are, they have power over you." Now, at the time I didn't think of this quote as philosophical, but it never escaped my brain because I knew the reality of it. I've felt it too often to not be aware of how profound it truly is.
The only one who should have this ability is Yahweh.
But we, as mere humans, cannot grasp that fact. Our emotions are too wrapped up in others; our veins are tangled between theirs and we can't let go. We can't let go of that word, that sentence...or even that glance, that was pasted from their lips and their eyes to our souls.
All the while, accepting those words and allowing them to weigh heavy. We sink lower and lower...feeling like the very earth that sinks beneath our beings.
There comes a time where you have to be strong for others, that everyone has forgotten about you. When you're strong, no one asks you if you're okay...
See, it's expected of you to hear to woes of others around you, but don't you dare speak of the woes in your own life. What are you doing? You're strong, you're supposed to be there for them...Where are you?
I'm so tired of apologizing.
But I'm sorry...
No, I don't mean in the profound and transforming way the Lord does...
I mean in the "spit in your face, leave you in the cold, kicks dirt upon you" way.
The way a father can leave his child in the arms of the mother never to be seen again, the way your first love slips away from you as the moon reaches the zenith of the dark sky... As cruel as school children...
My aunt once told me "If someone has the ability to change who you are, they have power over you." Now, at the time I didn't think of this quote as philosophical, but it never escaped my brain because I knew the reality of it. I've felt it too often to not be aware of how profound it truly is.
The only one who should have this ability is Yahweh.
But we, as mere humans, cannot grasp that fact. Our emotions are too wrapped up in others; our veins are tangled between theirs and we can't let go. We can't let go of that word, that sentence...or even that glance, that was pasted from their lips and their eyes to our souls.
All the while, accepting those words and allowing them to weigh heavy. We sink lower and lower...feeling like the very earth that sinks beneath our beings.
There comes a time where you have to be strong for others, that everyone has forgotten about you. When you're strong, no one asks you if you're okay...
See, it's expected of you to hear to woes of others around you, but don't you dare speak of the woes in your own life. What are you doing? You're strong, you're supposed to be there for them...Where are you?
I'm so tired of apologizing.
But I'm sorry...
it's been a long time coming.
I felt my hiatus coming. I didn't know when or why it would end up this way, 9 months without a single word from me as if my life had come to a screeching halt, but I saw it coming. Truth be told, it was the contrary. Life did not stop; it sped up a little, slowed down, and now at a steady cruise.
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