One of the most common – and most beautiful – attributes amongst Christian ladies is a desire to nurture. A desire to comfort, and encourage, and serve.
In the right context, this is an amazing, Godly aim. In the wrong context, it will really mess you up.
What tends to happen for a lot of Christian gals is that they see a guy who is – and this is a theological phrase – a wounded puppy. He’s sad and discouraged and probably wants something spiritual in his life but isn’t sure how that would work for him and aw shucks and who’s-to-say. And, for these Christian gals, that desire to nurture kicks in. Problem is, it quickly transitions to a desire to date said wounded puppy. And this will not work.
There’s a line from an old poem that says, “None but the brave deserve the fair.” Ladies, I want you to emblazon this on your subconscious minds. None but the brave deserve the fair.
Why do I say this? Because a Christian woman deserves to be with a Godlyman. Not a boy, not a teenager, not an adolescent. A man.
And, make no mistake, being a man isn’t about chronological age. It’s about personal and spiritual maturity. Here are some benchmarks to consider:
- A man is not looking for and does not need you to fix him. He’s already working things out with the Lord – just the two of them.
- A man knows where he stands spiritually.
- A man is confident in who he is and what he brings to the table.
- A man has the humility to know what his weaknesses, limitations, and growing-edges are, and is addressing them.
- A man knows where he’s going in life – following the Lord – and isn’t willing to get off course for you or anyone else.
So, then, what does that look like lived out?
- A man will meet you and spend some time getting to know you. He will pray for you and about you, and seek counsel from people farther along in the Lord than himself. He will not rush into anything. When he has a firm word from the Lord that this is a relationship from the Lord – and not before – he will move forward.
- He will summon the courage to ask you out on a date. He will not hem and haw, he will not say, “hey, maybe we should hang out, you know, sometime.” He will say, “I’d like to take you out for dinner. On a date. What do you say?”
- He will tell you how he feels about you. And I’m not talking, “So, you seem cool, and, yeah, it’s cool to hang out.” I’m talking, “You need to know that I’m crazy about you. I admire the heart you have for the Lord and the lost. I respect your walk. I value your authenticity. And I think you’re hot as all get out. If that doesn’t work for you, I understand, but you should know where I’m coming from.”
- A man will insist that both of you go to the Lord and ask for wisdom on what the Lord wants the physical boundaries to be for this relationship.
- A man will then insist that those boundaries are followed whether you like it or not. And if you start to get out of pocket, he will say, “Darling, don’t try and start something I won’t let you finish.” And he will mean it.
Everything I’ve just described requires courage. It requires bravery. It takes a man to pull it off.
And if there’s a dude out there that can’t man up, then he doesn’t deserve you. God does not want you to settle, and trust me, you don’t need to.
Remember, sisters: None but the brave deserve the fair.
