modern day hippie...?

Things I get on a regular basis:

• You look like you listen to India.Arie.
• You look like you don't eat meat.
• You got that art vibe, I knew you was an artist.
• You got that natural vibe.
• You look like a hippie. Do you smoke?
• You look like you like feathers.
• You look like you want those weird piercings.
• I knew you went thrifting. You got that vibe.

masculine grace.

I love a man with a strong back.

beautiful stranger.

"I wish I knew what went on inside your head. I wish I could be there for you. I want to sing "Diary" by Alicia Keys to you... and I want you to believe me. Although you have, I still have never told anyone what you told me and I never will."

Someone left this in my formspring. I didn't answer it. I didn't know what to say. Obviously, my first thought was to ask "Who are you?", but I already knew that it would never be answered. My second thought was "Why can't you be here for me?". What is in the way? Is it me? I know it's me; I'm always the problem. But I want you to be here for me. I need you here. I thought about the meaning behind the song. It must mean something if you knew exactly what song you want to sing.

I won't tell your secrets 

Your secrets are safe with me 

I will keep your secrets 

Just think of me as the pages in your diary 

 You can sing to me anytime. I don't mind. If you're terrible, I'll just laugh and love you even more. If you're amazing, I'll probably start to cry. Cry because you care. Cry because it was beautiful. Cry because everything all my troubles will cease to exist...even for that moment. I'll believe you. I promise I will. I then thought long and hard about whatever it is that they will never tell. What secret might I have told, and told others? Thank you, for not telling my secret, but may you please tell me your name dear diary?

Thank you. 

Yesterday I cried.

Today I laughed. 

I laughed so hard all alone in my room. I couldn't stop laughing. I started because of a simple play of words, but I believe it was more than that eventually. It felt so great and I felt so happy

...but only for that moment.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;
   do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
   I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I feel like I'm losing control of my life.

I took these pictures because I was feeling down. Not because these smiles were real.

Behind the smiles and laughter, I'm actually really broken. I hate it. Why am I this way?

I've learned that sometimes the worst part about being upset, is trying to convince yourself that you aren't.

This blows...

interview: hot sauce with fries.

My friend had to interview me for one of her classes and take a look. I mean is you want...it's whatever. :)

Name, Age, Hometown, Classification, and Major
Shelby, 18, Freshman, and undeclared.

Are you vegetarian or vegan?
Vegetarian (i'm actually a pecatarian but that wasn't an option...obviously.)

Were you born into this lifestyle or did you choose it? If so, how long have you been vegetarian/vegan?
I chose it. It's been about 7 months.

Define vegetarian or vegan?
The heck!? Well...a vegetarian is someone who does not comsume animals of any kind, but still eats eggs and drink milk, depending on which kind of vegetarian. Ovo-vegetarian eats eggs but not dairy, lacto-vegetarian consumes dairy but no eggs, and then ovo-lacto vegetarian, who well...eats both. vegetarians also avoid gelatin and chicken stock. hidden animal stuffs. Annnddd....vegetarians often times don't wear fur and leather.

Why did you choose this lifestyle? Are you enjoying it so far?
I don't know. Something to do I guess. But after doing research about it for class, I'm glad I made the decision. And I am enjoying it. I don't miss meat at all!! Except hot wings, but I just ask for the hot sauce on the side for my fries. lol.

Before coming to college, can you describe you’re usual eating habits. (i.e. who prepared your meals and what did you eat)
I cooked all of my meals, or McDonalds sometimes. I don't really remember my eating habits. Lol. Well before college i ate a little bit of chicken. so i'd make chicken dishes and lots of sides. ...this was a hard question. :\

What are some of your favorite vegetarian/vegan dishes?
Veggie pizza, pasta, veggie fajitias, anything with potatoes, omelettes for breakfast.

Now that you are in college, can you describe you’re eating habits? (i.e. do you eat out often or buy groceries)
I eat whatever is in the cafe that doesn't have meat. Or dishes that they prepare that have subsitutes. like veggie lasagna or something like that. it isn't hard to find something i can eat and enjoy. but i mostly eat pizza and cheese fries. lol.

Explain the difference from eating at home and in college.
No difference except there's more food in college. i have to beg for food at home...but this was even before i stopped eating meat...

What difficulties have you ran into trying to find foods in college that fit your specific lifestyle?
none really. except that i have to actually look into what is being served, whereas my friends can pretty much eat anything.

Explain a time when a friend in college peer pressured you into eating non-vegetarian or non-vegan foods and your response.
who does that?!! they are not your friends if they're doing that. smh.

Describe an incident when you have felt left out at an outing in college because there were no vegetarian or vegan dishes available.
i never feel left out. there's always SOMETHING to eat. even if it's a little side dish to hold me over until i get an actual meal. yall act like all there is to eat in the world is meat. lol.

In what ways has being vegetarian or vegan caused you to be looked down upon?
no one does that.

In what ways has being vegetarian or vegan caused you to be looked up to?
because i'm black and i don't eat chicken, people say i'm "strong." ^_^ i guess.

How has being vegetarian or vegan affected you nutritionally, spiritually, and physically?
i poop on the regular now. sorry if that's tmi. BUT i still have terrible eating habits, eating junk and greasy stuff like onion rings and pizza. spiritually? lol. that's funny. my spirit's the same.

Lastly, how has being a vegetarian or vegan affected your college life as whole?
i can't eat whatever the heck i want. that is all. i am happy. 

#blackparentsquote

• Me: "Can we go to McDonalds?" Mom: "You got McDonalds money?"
• "I brought you in this world..i'll take you out!"
• "I am NOT one of your LITTLE friends."
• "If u don't stop crying...imma give u something to cry about."
• "Bring my change back!"
• "My house better be clean by the time I get off work!"
• "Shut the door! Lettin' all the cold air out."
• "A he he hell..."
• "You ain't grown. You ain't paying bills around here!"
• "When we get in this store, stay where I can see you. Don't touch nothing and don't ask for nothing."
• "Don't make me pull this car over...!"
• "I know you heard me talking to you...."
• "You better be in this house when the street lights come on. Don't make me hafta look for you."
• "Stop standing there with the frigerator door open!"
• "Either you in the house or you not, stop runnin in and out!"
  
• *after getting a whoopin'* "This hurts me more than it hurts you."
• "Ain't no lockin' doors around here!"

too tired to talk.

Sometime last week, I was just laying in bed a little earlier then usual because I had to get some much needed sleep. As I was laying in bed, I couldn't really fall asleep so I began to talk to the Lord. I said a prayer and then laid there in silence. No sleep. So I said another prayer and then laid there again. Still no sleep. As I began to talk to the Lord for the third time, I cut my own thoughts off and said:

 "Lord, I don't feel like talking! I just want to go to sleep."

That's how tired I was.