It truly amazes me how the words of man can pierce the souls of men.
No, I don't mean in the profound and transforming way the Lord does...
I mean in the "spit in your face, leave you in the cold, kicks dirt upon you" way.
The way a father can leave his child in the arms of the mother never to be seen again, the way your first love slips away from you as the moon reaches the zenith of the dark sky... As cruel as school children...
My aunt once told me "If someone has the ability to change who you are, they have power over you." Now, at the time I didn't think of this quote as philosophical, but it never escaped my brain because I knew the reality of it. I've felt it too often to not be aware of how profound it truly is.
The only one who should have this ability is Yahweh.
But we, as mere humans, cannot grasp that fact. Our emotions are too wrapped up in others; our veins are tangled between theirs and we can't let go. We can't let go of that word, that sentence...or even that glance, that was pasted from their lips and their eyes to our souls.
All the while, accepting those words and allowing them to weigh heavy. We sink lower and lower...feeling like the very earth that sinks beneath our beings.
There comes a time where you have to be strong for others, that everyone has forgotten about you. When you're strong, no one asks you if you're okay...
See, it's expected of you to hear to woes of others around you, but don't you dare speak of the woes in your own life. What are you doing? You're strong, you're supposed to be there for them...Where are you?
I'm so tired of apologizing.
But I'm sorry...
No, I don't mean in the profound and transforming way the Lord does...
I mean in the "spit in your face, leave you in the cold, kicks dirt upon you" way.
The way a father can leave his child in the arms of the mother never to be seen again, the way your first love slips away from you as the moon reaches the zenith of the dark sky... As cruel as school children...
My aunt once told me "If someone has the ability to change who you are, they have power over you." Now, at the time I didn't think of this quote as philosophical, but it never escaped my brain because I knew the reality of it. I've felt it too often to not be aware of how profound it truly is.
The only one who should have this ability is Yahweh.
But we, as mere humans, cannot grasp that fact. Our emotions are too wrapped up in others; our veins are tangled between theirs and we can't let go. We can't let go of that word, that sentence...or even that glance, that was pasted from their lips and their eyes to our souls.
All the while, accepting those words and allowing them to weigh heavy. We sink lower and lower...feeling like the very earth that sinks beneath our beings.
There comes a time where you have to be strong for others, that everyone has forgotten about you. When you're strong, no one asks you if you're okay...
See, it's expected of you to hear to woes of others around you, but don't you dare speak of the woes in your own life. What are you doing? You're strong, you're supposed to be there for them...Where are you?
I'm so tired of apologizing.
But I'm sorry...
it's been a long time coming.
I felt my hiatus coming. I didn't know when or why it would end up this way, 9 months without a single word from me as if my life had come to a screeching halt, but I saw it coming. Truth be told, it was the contrary. Life did not stop; it sped up a little, slowed down, and now at a steady cruise.
my heart hurts so much right now.
No one understands, and no one will until I say something! I have got to say something. How can I dare keep my mouth shut about the information given me? How dare I walk around like I don't know what's going on in this world.
Everyone's always looking for a revolution! You want one? Well you're going to get one! By all means, I don't care if I'm the voice of the people, but I will spark the voice. I don't know how, but I know that with God by my side anything is possible!
I can't even began to explain the pain in my heart. There's no way I can verbally, or in written form, describe how I'm feeling...
Poland Mission Trip!
I have been blessed with the opportunity to spread the word of God, make disciples, and plant them into a church home in Krakow, Poland. On May 8th-18th, other leaders from my church and I will have a chance to preach the gospel to college students like myself! Juvenalia is a Polish student festival that runs 24/7 and during that time we will converse with the students about the gospel and share our personal testimonies.
In order to cover my flight, food, and board I need to raise $2,500. I am asking for donations of $100, $50, and $25 to go towards those finances. If God is not leading you to those specific amounts, please feel free to donate whatever He puts on your heart. If you aren’t able to give at this moment, I ask that you please keep us in your prayers; as that is a powerful gift.
Thank you, and God bless! :)
To donate, click on this link:
Donate to Shelby Corley here!
In order to cover my flight, food, and board I need to raise $2,500. I am asking for donations of $100, $50, and $25 to go towards those finances. If God is not leading you to those specific amounts, please feel free to donate whatever He puts on your heart. If you aren’t able to give at this moment, I ask that you please keep us in your prayers; as that is a powerful gift.
Thank you, and God bless! :)
To donate, click on this link:
Donate to Shelby Corley here!
disappear.
There always comes a time where I want to delete everything;
my facebook, twitter, tumblr, and this blog.
I want to disappear and have nothing to do with anyone.
Although I'm in a good place with God,
I feel really unhappy and try to keep my head above water.
No one understands what I'm going through,
and no one ever will, but I don't expect them to.
I'm still searching for peace in every area of my life.
my facebook, twitter, tumblr, and this blog.
I want to disappear and have nothing to do with anyone.
Although I'm in a good place with God,
I feel really unhappy and try to keep my head above water.
No one understands what I'm going through,
and no one ever will, but I don't expect them to.
I'm still searching for peace in every area of my life.
"PAUL, UNPHASED" BY MATT CHANDLER
- Them: We'll kill you.
- Paul: To die is gain.
- Them: We'll leave you alone.
- Paul: To live is Christ.
- Them: We'll torture you.
- Paul: I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
- Them: We'll put you in prison.
- Paul: Well, give me a hymnal; I'll convert all your guards and lead them in praise and worship.
chipped finger nails.
Sometimes the most simple things in life can teach us the most important lessons. Lessons that we've already accepted as being vital, but we have yet to recognize its significance in our lives. Every time I chip a nail while closing a dresser drawer, grabbing a book off of a shelf, or opening the kitchen cabinet door, I'm always reminded to "Slow down". I am reminded to take my time, to think.
Think.
Think.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)