"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." 
                                                                        -E.E. Cummings

this.

dreads and septums.

This is what I look like with dreads and a septum; two things I've wanted for awhile now. The dreads and the septum ring are fake. Lol. My friend had a faux rings so she could see how a lip piercing would look on her (she now has her lip pierced), and it never occurred to me to do the same. So...I stole one of hers for the time being. I'd rather test the looks out than to commit to both and waste my time and money. :)

I'm getting a few piercings in a few days, but the septum certainly has to wait. I'm not ready for it. Just the thought of getting it makes me cringe. Lol.

But yeah, in the near future, I will have them both. :)

Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.

-Pablo Picasso.  

#smilemovement

My problem with college, scholarships, and all that jazz.

I don't know if yall remember my College Dropout post, but I was seriously considering that plan. I tried to ease my mama into the plan, but she wasn't going. Since she never went to college, it's only right that her children do the same. My older sister is no longer in school, so now I feel like it's all dependent on me. Now, to update you all, I am no longer considering that plan, but I still have a problem.

I want to continue my education for four years, but I don't have any money. My family doesn't have any money. I'm not the smartest, I don't do any sports, I don't have any disabilities. I don't have family in the army, navy, etc... All I have is a single mother.

I've always been told that there are scholarships everywhere. There are scholarships for wearing glasses, being a certain race, and etc... but where are these scholarships? Why aren't they easily accessible. There are millions of dollars of scholarship money and grants unclaimed each year. Excuse me? You mean to tell me there's money out there for people like me, but...I can't receive this money, because...? I don't have a 36 on my ACT or I'm not missing a leg? Why is the intelligibility so extreme? There are average people out there who need this money for school. People who actually want to go to college, but they aren't able to afford it. There is so much emphasis that we must go to college. Not everyone can afford it, especially in the economy. Yes, I am a broken record right now. "The economy is terrible, the economy sucks." I can't even afford monthly groceries, let alone $10,000+ for school every year!

Loans? Oh, you mean the ones that put me in debt? The ones that will take me the rest of my life to pay off? You tell me to go off to college, you tell me to take out loans that I can't afford, and then you tell me to go make a life for myself. You tell me not to come back home. You tell me that college is the best option, which also happens to be the most expensive option.

Opportunity costs? I don't feel like going into it.

So if I dropped out now, and decide to go back in a few years (let's just say things don't work out), that wouldn't be very logical. Each year tuition costs rise at least 3%. So here I'd be again, in the same position, but worse off. I still can't find any money and now my debt has increased. Great.

When I graduated from high school, it wasn't about if I was attending to college, it was about where. Everyone assumed that it was the path I was going to take. Well, they were right. College was the only option I thought I had. I started my first year last fall; I didn't understand why I was there and I didn't understand why college was something that was supposed to be for everyone. There's a very dogmatic opinion that everyone needs to attend higher learning after high school. Despite my alma mater of attending the number 1 magnet high school in the state, I honestly didn't think it was for me. After months, I realized that it was an honor to be able to attend a university where I was able to continue my education. There are children all over the world who simply dream of completing primary school. In class last semester, I looked around and saw that half of the class was not in attendace. I then thought about how many of those students recieved financial help. I'm positive a few few them had gotten refund checks, basically meaning they were getting paid to not come to class. It seriously angered me to think that a child somewhere either in the United States or elsewhere, isn't able to learn, yet there are people next to me who take it for granted. Their education is being paid for, yet time and money is being wasted. It would be a privilege to receive any type of financial help, and I would be beyond grateful.

/rant

get down with the get down~!

DIY: Harem pants.

Thank God (and my cousin and mama) for my sewing machine. It's been years and a long time coming since I've wanted one. Since I was little, I've always wanted to be a fashion designer (or modifier in this case). I'm not longer interested in being a fashion designer, now I'm just a seamstress. I can't wait until this is an actual hobby. I am beyond excited for the projects to come.

By the way, this was my very first time using my sewing machine. I think I did pretty darn good. ^_^

I made this video spur of the moment although it has been on my heart for awhile. I know there are other girls out there who struggle with low self esteem. I've come to the conclusion that most of my friends believe that I am very confident person. The truth is that I wore make up and took a lot of pictures to post on Facebook and Tumblr, to help myself realize that I am beautiful...even if I had to fake it. Well I'm done faking it. I'm done feeling like I have to live up to even my own standard of beauty. No, I'm not pointing the finger at the media. It's all an internal struggle that I'm asking God to help me with. And no, I'm not calling myself ugly. Even I know that would be a lie coming from the devil. It's all about acceptance, and I'm finally being able to accept me for who I really am and what I really look like. And if you know me in real life, you know that taking my glasses off is a big deal!

"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you." -Song of Solomon 4:7

If you're reading this, please take a moment to smile. :)

1. Smiling Makes Us Attractive

We are drawn to people who smile. There is an attraction factor. We want to know a smiling person and figure out what is so good. Frowns, scowls and grimaces all push people away -- but a smile draws them in (avoid these smile aging habits to keep your smile looking great).

2. Smiling Changes Our Mood

Next time you are feeling down, try putting on a smile. There's a good chance you mood will change for the better. Smiling can trick the body into helping you change your mood.

3. Smiling Is Contagious

When someone is smiling they lighten up the room, change the moods of others, and make things happier. A smiling person brings happiness with them. Smile lots and you will draw people to you.

4. Smiling Relieves Stress

Stress can really show up in our faces. Smiling helps to prevent us from looking tired, worn down, and overwhelmed. When you are stressed, take time to put on a smile. The stress should be reduced and you'll be better able to take action.

5. Smiling Boosts Your Immune System

Smiling helps the immune system to work better. When you smile, immune function improves possibly because you are more relaxed. Prevent the flu and colds by smiling.

6. Smiling Lowers Your Blood Pressure

When you smile, there is a measurable reduction in your blood pressure. Give it a try if you have a blood pressure monitor at home. Sit for a few minutes, take a reading. Then smile for a minute and take another reading while still smiling. Do you notice a difference?

7. Smiling Releases Endorphins, Natural Pain Killers and Serotonin

Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin. Together these three make us feel good. Smiling is a natural drug.

8. Smiling Lifts the Face and Makes You Look Younger

The muscles we use to smile lift the face, making a person appear younger. Don't go for a face lift, just try smiling your way through the day -- you'll look younger and feel better.

9. Smiling Makes You Seem Successful

Smiling people appear more confident, are more likely to be promoted, and more likely to be approached. Put on a smile at meetings and appointments and people will react to you differently.

10. Smiling Helps You Stay Positive

Try this test: Smile. Now try to think of something negative without losing the smile. It's hard. When we smile our body is sending the rest of us a message that "Life is Good!" Stay away from depression, stress and worry by smiling.

a bad habit:

If I like a picture, I will post it on every social network. Lol.

a little wild.

i'm kissing dating goodbye.

The joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment.

"I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris is the first book I'm getting next.

When I initially tweeted about it, everyone took it as a bad thing. They took it as if I were giving up on love and marriage. It's actually the exact opposite. Kissing dating goodbye means that you realize that love isn't the concept man have made it to be. There's timing, there are relationships with ourselves that we need to build, but most importantly, our relationship with God.

The book isn't about dating, but living your life for God.

The message is to not pursue romance until you're ready for love. We must find out what God defines as true love and purity. In general, Harris believes that dating has become too inwardly focused. He feels that people date to find "their" mate according to their own principles, rules, and desires.

Seven habits of highly defective dating:1. Dating tends to skip the friendship stage of a relationship2. Dating often mistakes a physical relationship as love3. Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships4. Dating can distract young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future.5. Dating can cause discontentment with God’s gift of singleness6, Dating can create an artificial environment for evaluating another person’s character.7. Dating often becomes an end in itself.

Five ways to avoid the above seven pitfalls of dating:1. Every relationship is an opportunity to model Christ’s love.2. My unmarried years are a gift from God.3. I don’t need to pursue a romantic relationship before I’m ready for marriage.4. I cannot “own” someone outside of marriage.5. I will avoid situations that could compromise the purity of my body or my mind.

 Here are a few quotes:

"The world takes us to a silver screen on which flickering images of passion andromance play, and as we watch, the world says, “This is love.” God takes us tothe foot of a tree on which a naked and bloodied man hangs and says, “This islove.”

 "Choosing to quit the dating game doesn't mean rejecting friendship with theopposite sex, companionship, romance, or marriage. We can still pursue thosethings, we just choose to pursue them on God’s terms and in his time."

 I believe this is certainly a good read. :)

end of the beginning.

I'm seriously the happiest I've ever been in my life. No specific event, just overall happiness.

It's July 1, 2011 at 1:33 am. We're already over an hour into the second half of the new year. I guess it isn't so new anymore, huh? So how'd your resolutions go? Did you keep up with them, or did you even make any? I didn't make any resolutions, because everyday, whether it's in a new year or not, needs some improvement. Everyday is a working and learning process. Everyday is an opportunity to better oneself.

My birthday was June 6th. It was a wonderful day. I got a sewing machine, sunshine cake, and visitors. I turned 19, the last year of my teens. If 19 is anything like my 18th year of life, I'd be more than happy.

I'm happy.