Dear Pop Secret,

All I wanted to do was come home and enjoy a mini bag of popcorn while watching one of the many free movies on cable. I open up the package and read the instructions. It said to pop for 3 minutes. Sounds simple right? So I put the bag in for 3 minutes and go upstairs to kill time on facebook. 3 minutes later I hear "Shelby you burnt the popcorn and the microwave blew up!" WTF?! All this sh** happened in 3 minutes!? The same 3 minutes you told me to put the popcorn in there and my microwave blew the f*** up?! You're a f***ing liar. 3 minutes my ass and now my mama thinks I can't pop a bag of f***ing corn. I work at the movies! I make this s*** everyday and you ass****s come along and made me blow my microwave up!! And on top of that, my eyes burn and it stinks up in this piece. I really hate you right now. FUCK YOU POP SECRET!

 Kiss my ass; signed,

a very pissed off black girl.