thatgirlshel: December 2009

When: Christmas Day.2009.
Time: Night.
Place: Waffle House.
Perks: FREE WAFFLE.

"Baby, baby, baby,

from the day I saw you,

I really, really wanted to catch your eye.

There's something special 'bout you.

I must really like you,

'cause not a lot of guys are worth my time.

Oh. Baby, baby, baby,

It's gettin' kinna crazy,

'cause you are takin' over my mind.

And it feels like

OooOoOoOoOooOooOooo...

Baby, baby, baby

I see us on our first date.

You doin' everything that makes me smile.

And when we had our first kiss,

it happened on a ~~Thursday~~ weekday, :]

and, ooh, it set my soul on fire.

Ooh, baby, baby, baby,

I can't wait for the first time.

My imagination's runnin' wild.

It feels like

OooOoOoOoOoooooo.."

MERRY

CHRISTMAS!

I hope everyone has a safe & joyous day! :]

Max's Father: Max:							Get serious, for once! What are you going to DO with your life? Why is it always what will I do? Why isn't the issue here who I am?
Uncle Teddy:							Because, Maxwell, what you do defines who you are.
Max:							No, Uncle Teddy. Who you are defines what you do. Right Jude?
Jude:							Well, surely it's not what you do, but the, uh... the way that you do it.

i lied.

I said I was on hiatus but I'm obviously not.

Enjoy:

He gets madd cool points in my book.

"it's scenes like this that reinvigorate my faith in humanity"

baha! youtube comment.

& that was Santogold playing. They better get their asses up. What a bunch of lames.

things people do at the movies that pisses me off.

You know damn well there are about a million trashcan’s waiting for you to throw your crap away but instead you leave them in the theater. The trashcan is by the only door you have to leave from!
I know times are hard, but when you look at the prices please don’t make those ugly faces. Not a good look.
If I tell you “Theater 3 to your left” why in the world would you go to your right?? Then have the nerve to get mad at me.
Don’t do this: “How much is a small popcorn, a large drink and butterfingers?” I tell you. “Never mind. How much is a medium popcorn, small drink and two butterfingers?” I tell you. “Ok. I’ll just get gummie bears.”
Don’t touch the cups or bags to let me know what size you want. That’s rude.
Stop sneaking into movies!
Stop having sex in the theaters!
Don’t ask if you can use your Regal coupons at our Carmike theater.
Quit complaining about our icee’s not being included with our combo’s. Get over it.
If I ask you if you would like to try a combo, you look at the list, shake your head and instead ask for a large drink and a large popcorn, I will ring it up ask that. NOT THE LARGE POPCORN & DRINK COMBO. Thanks for giving us more of your money!
“Excuse me. Do you know where the restrooms are??” Noooo. I just work here.

I just got off work and I really had to vent. I’m sure I’m missing many more… *sigh*

skatter brain!

on hiatus.

i need to get myself together.

im really lost and confused

& i need to change that asap.

its so stupid to feel this way,

especially when i dont have to.

looking for a sound mind, body & soul.

i wish to be meek & mild. ♥

goodbye for now.

hope.

"...if no one else is buying you flowers, buy yourself flowers."

such a bitter bitch.

...it's not in me anymore to care.

Maybe at a later date but certainly not now.

flyy

" i want to flyy like the angels do, feel the same clouds on myy face, breathe the same air..."

respect it.

i wasn't going to post anything else until after exams but i just had to post this one.

Respect It.

"...i break the rules so i don't care."

you can fly right over my house this year. all i ever really wanted was love. that's something that can't be wrapped with the prettiest of paper and jumbo bows, bribed with milk and cookies, or even bought in local wal marts.

sincerely,

head over heels.

It has taken me seven years to realize what exactly was going on--

or rather, it has taken me seven years to admit it.

Depression is no joke.

Where there is love, there is pain.

I'm sure it's normal to feel like this when you've been on this ho-hum of a world where we live our restless lives for seventeen years. *sigh* I suppose it's not entirely a ho-hum life to live. But definitely at seventeen, anywhere but here seems like a good idea. Oh goodness, get me out of this sulky and melancholic mindset. *think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts*

Where's that damn remote?

close.

I was right...

...they'll never understand.

MUMZ THE WERD FOR ME NOW.

RE: naked.

You can't tell me that there is anything more beautiful.

* This photograph isn't to be taken as anything other than art to be admired. Please don't look at this as sexual, vulgar, crude, obscene, ignoble or offensive. Appreciate it.

naked.

When I get out of the shower. I look at myself. Wet. Naked. I admire every part of my body. I notice things I've never noticed before. I turn around and look at the arch of my back. I feel my thighs and my breasts. I stand on my toes and look for muscle definition. It's never there. I trace over my scars and discover new ones. I lift my arms and wiggle them. I look straight in the mirror, naked. I follow along my hips with my hands. Every now and then I'd tilt my head, wondering, thinking.

Honestly, I feel the most beautiful when I'm naked.

There's something about a naked body, my naked body. No clothes. No jewelry. Nothing but my very own skin. It's such a beautiful thing. The curves, the different tones, even the stretch marks. I embrace them all. No clothing in the world can make me feel the way I do when I'm naked. No piece of clothing ever will.

open.

I'm not sure when it happened but it did, and I'm not even sure if it's been any other way. I can't and will not open up. I guess a part of me wants it that way but another part of me is yearning for a listening ear or open arms. The words are there but they refuse to escape.

Possibly because

no one will understand.

the sorries.

"I woke up to the sound of mamas' voice. Why aren't you sleep in your room, she said noticing I was dead to the world on our tattered couch that used to be cream and black but is now stained and gray.

My eyes go black. My head's spinning and begins to throb. I'm trying to hold on but I can't. The thoughts rush right past me. I try to hold on. To grab them but I can't. There's one and another and another. They won't stop. Mommy, make them stop. Make them go away.
I wake up and see her looking at me. I simply get up and go to my room as a tear for every strand of guilt leave traces of white along my cheeks. "

I wrote this freshman year when I had a lot of things going on. I remember crying and trying to get creative since it was actually a class assignment. I look back now and can't believe I shared this with anyone besides myself. I wrote many more and made a book but it's more like a stupid depressing diary. Mama asked me everyday to every week if she could read it. She pretty much begged me. Now you see why I just couldn't let her. She still to this day hasn't read a page of it....she never will.

P.S. - The only other person I've shared a few stories with was Jalen.
I'm pretty sure it'll remain that way.

This is the book...

In exactly 6 months from this day,

not only will I be 18,

but I'll be a new & happier me.

I, Shelby Danielle Corley, am cutting my hair off!

I'm getting 'The Big Chop' & I'm soo excited.
I would have transitioned for 8 1/2 months
& already my new growth is satisfying.
I have GOT to go natural.
It's killing me inside that I haven't done this sooner.
This is me freeing myself & being happy with who I am.
& it's about damn time.

I'm not asking anyone of their opinions

because honestly I don't care.

I'm doing this for me.

Here's my guiding light:

With relaxed hair (all hers):

Right after The Big Chop (July 29, 2009):

One month after:

She is absolutely beautiful regardless of the length of her hair . !

Check out her youtube channel that inspired me and helped me along with my transition journey. She's beyond amazing.

I supposed I'll post pics of my hair at a later date, mmk??

beautiful .

Me: 'I feel so beautiful today.'

Jalen: 'U should everyday. Fa real bae'

This is why I love him.

sunday secrets

PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death and God from Frank Warren on Vimeo.

sleep comes after death.

Lately all I've wanted to do was sleep my life away

& I'm completely okay with that.

To be numb to the world & all those in it.

I don't want to rise to face the challenges of life yet another day.

I'm not running from my problems, simply sleeping them way.

I just hope one day I open my eyes and he's by my side.

A reason to get up & smile.

legalized

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY!!

I love you so much & I don't know what I would have done without you these past five years & I still don't know what I'll do in college. :[ You're more than a friend, pretty much a sister. I hope you realize how much you mean to me girrlll!

To Be Continueed....

P.S.- 100th post. :)

omnia vincit amor.

oh, how lovely;
how lovely it feels to be in love. ♥

RE: catch me . . .

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.

-Confucius

Don't worry if you don't catch me or if you never even thought about it. This may be the hardest fall I may have to overcome but I will get up and rise. I always do. There are lots of changes going on in my life that I'm not sure how to handle, changes that will happen regardless of the actions or decisions I make and that's possibly the hardest pill to swallow. To walk around with not a care in the world and before you blink everything is in disarray, out of your control. It's hard to accept the fact that your little bit of happiness can be snatched up and have you feeling weaker then ever; And when it happens again you realize that it is possible, to be weaker than before. Then you start to fake the happiness as if you have at all together but in reality you don't have shit together. You're walking around just like everyone else, pretending. That's all that ever goes on nowadays. I have friends that tell me how unhappy they are and I can't return with the same pain because I'm trying to be strong for the two of us. That hurt's even more.

"We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves."
- Confucius

Have you ever noticed a spider web in the rain. The thin, transparent-like fibers didn't dwindle away with the wearisome rain. To my surprise even in the heaviest of rain the web remained intact. Not only did the web survive but it collected the rain; almost like all the weight was resting on it back. I think back sometimes and I wonder if it is possible for myself to be like that web. Remain strong even after I feel as if I'm going to fall under pressure. And if I do, I'll do as the spiders to. Get up and build a new one.

P.S- If you want to catch me,
I'll gladly accept your offer
& I promise to do the same for you.

catch me . . .

. . . i'm f a l l i n g .

Hello December. (:

I've been waiting for you.

"I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow