I think it's finally settling in that I'm single and it looks like it'll be that way for awhile. I'm just so uncomfortable being alone. I've been in relationships a majority of my high school years so when I'm single it just doesn't feel right. It's not so much the fact that I need a relationship or a boyfriend but, like I mentioned in a previous post, being single isn't the lifestyle I desire.
The part that I hate the most is starting over. Sharing my secrets, telling childhood stories, my hopes, my dreams. Pouring my heart out to someone new. I absolutely hate starting over. The worst part about it is, it's has to happen, every single time. It's enviable.
I guess that's why Gavin and I are hanging out so much. We're both familiar faces to each other on campus and we get to skip the "starting over" phase. All we're doing is catching up. But I don't like it in the least bit. I don't want to settle with him just because he isn't someone new. I feel like that's the only reason why I may like him, because it's safe.
I hate this so much.
yeah..starting over is rough for me too. You just don't know what you should tell somebody or when you should tell them certain things. It's a process.
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