Sometimes I really hate him.

Not because of anything he says or do, that's when I dislike him.
The hatred comes in on how he makes me feel.
I'm lost without him which makes me an idiot.
Usually I want to cry because he simply isn't here with me.
I miss him before he even leaves.
I get worried when he doesn't call or text because he's just at a game.
I can't go a night without hearing "I love you";
and when I do, the feelings unbearable and I panic.
I hate that even at 7 months, we don't tell each other everything.

I hate to use the word hate.
I love him with all of my heart.
And that's the part I hate.
But he is the creator of it.

Whatthefck.?!
I sound like a dumbass.