Look back.

15 minutes before I turned 18 Jalen asked me how much I've changed from exactly a year ago. It was very hard for me to think of things but I still continued to think about it these past few days. 

I've learned a lot about love the past year. In 2008 I lost my virginity to a guy who I thought was going to love me. Last year after my birthday we had sex a few times and it never dawned on me that after 4 years and sex we were never going to be together. If a man was going to love me, he would, sex or no sex. Jalen has showed me how I should be loved and treated. I am truly blessed to have found him and have him in my life.

For many years I've battled depression and suicide and my 17th year of life has been the hardest. Too frequent I thought about ending my life and I dwelled on how unhappy I was. To a lot of my old followers, I'm pretty sure you can tell when I hit rock bottom, quite a few times I might add. At the time I didn't want to reveal that I was suicidal to total strangers but I'm positive some posts were pretty obvious. The reason I'm making this public now is because I'm completely over that part of my life. I'm in a better place now and I've learned not to let certain things get to me and to also keep in mind that things will always get better. I have a more positive outlook on life. Of course there will be time where I'm sad but it's up to me to deal with it in a positive way and to not let it destroy me. I thank God that I'm here today to see 18 years of life.